Real Madrid = The Galactic Empire

I don't like Cristiano Ronaldo.

I don't like expensive experiments for ego stroking rich men.

I don't like all the money in football. I don't like signing players for projected shirt revenues.

Nonetheless, I can't wait to watch Real Madrid in action next year. Barca have already proved their absolute dominance and beauty in world football. They have nothing left to prove... other than consistency. If they can rob a team so absolutely and thoroughly stacked with insane expensive talent, I'd be over the moon...

I mean Benzema, C. Ronaldo, Kaka, Albiol, Alonso?, and all their current stars (especially Higuain, Sneijder (criminally underutilized) and v Nistelrooy)... delicious. I can't help it: I kind of want it all to work, just to see gorgeous unstoppable football outside of England. Please, please, please, UEFA: place Real v. Man U in the first knockout stage of the CL. PLEASE let them absolutely shame the Red Devils into a Fergie quits/back to the drawing board/I guess Rooney isn't so great furor.

Please.

This man...

This man is a Manchester United player.

You read that correctly.

The man Stoke and Hull were mildly interested in will now be playing for arguably the biggest sporting franchise on the planet.

I predict the Golden Boot, Balon d'Or and 10 year 298,000 pound contract extension.

Mike?